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Posts Tagged ‘recovery’

Remains #3

03 Aug

…to react or to respond…

Every difficult situation we encounter offers us a choice. We can either react or we can respond. And there’s a world of difference between those two replies. Unfortunately, it is our nature to react…which is a negative reply. It is far better to respond!

Imagine that you’re sick enough to visit the doctor, and the doctor prescribes a particular medication. If the new meds cause you to break out in a rash and spike a fever, you would be “having a reaction” to the medication. (In the medical world there’s no question…a reaction is bad!)

If however, after you begin taking the new meds you notice that your condition is improving, you would be “responding to the medication.” (In the medical world, responding is good!)

And so it is in life. Reacting to a situation is deadly…responding to a situation is life-giving.

When a child brings home a lousy report card, the parent has a choice. The parent can react by saying, “You’re as dumb as your father! You’re grounded for a week.” Or the parent can respond by saying, “It looks like you’re going to need to study better. Let’s set aside time each night when we can work on homework.”

Those of us struggling with addictions must learn to respond rather than to react. When faced with intense situations, our natural instinct to react leads us to drink, or drug, or eat. Yet when facing that same difficult situation, our ability to respond, allows us to consider all aspects of the situation…and to grasp whatever lesson lays waiting to be learned.

 
 

Remains #1 …a new creation…

09 Jul

Those close to me are well-aware of my many trials and tribulations. They know of my mental, professional, and legal struggles. They know of my addictions and of my path of recovery.

While this blog initially consisted of random thoughts and observations, I’m now adding a new feature that will chronicle the insights and lessons that I continue to stumble upon as I travel the rather steep and sometimes treacherous path of recovery.

This feature will not be a casual glance in the morning mirror…a glance taken only after the image has been showered, shaved and combed. This will be an intense examination of my “remains.”

Remains are the left-over’s, the remnants and the ruins. To the fraud, the remains are the pressure marks left upon the face when the mask has been removed. To the gambler, the remains are the coins left in one’s pocket after the fortune has been spent.
To the funeral director, the remains are the dead body whose spirit has departed.

But to me…my remains are much more! To me, my remains are the person I’ve admitted myself to be…melded into the person God is allowing me to become. To me, my remains are the mosaic that God is creating out of the broken pieces of my life.

 
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Posted in New Life

 

…when masks become molds…

10 Feb

I’ll always remember taking my son home from the hospital a few days after he was born. I tried to look like a professional father as I strapped our newborn into his seat, covered him with a blanket, and carefully assisted my wife into the car.

I might have looked like a professional father…but I was scared to death! So I decided to fake it until I could make it…I donned a daddy mask.

I suppose that in some ways we all wear masks. Just as new mothers wear mommy masks to hide their insecurities…so do married couples sometimes wear masks to hide emotions that have lost their intensity.

Surgeons hide behind their scrubs…judges behind their robes…and police officers behind their badges. Nearly everyone sports some sort of mask to hide their fears or their shortcomings.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could allow our masks to become molds? If we considered that our masks were actually molds, then we could begin to grow into them. And over time, we’d possibly become the parent, spouse, or professional we were already pretending to be.

Just for today, I’ll strap on my mask of kindness. I’ll do my best to be accepting and empathetic to those I encounter. I’ll hold doors for people I don’t know. I’ll say nice things to the grocery store cashier. I’ll wait patiently for the elderly couple who cross the street so slowly.

Yes, just for today, I’ll wear my mask of kindness. And I might even wear that same mask tomorrow and the next day. And hopefully, as I grow and mature over time…I might actually become the person my mask portrays me to be.

 
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Posted in New Life