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Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

…the dirt doesn’t care…

15 Jul

For the first time in years, we’ve got some good dirt at our place! We had it delivered…I forget how much, but I know it was several yards more than we really needed. I discovered we’d ordered too much when I set out trying to carry and spread the rich top soil to the top of the hill…where we’d ridiculously decided to plant our garden. Anyway, we’ve got good dirt.

It’s good dirt, but to be honest, it’s rather apathetic. You see, the dirt just doesn’t care.

If I plant zucchini or squash seeds, the dirt will grow zucchini or squash. The dirt really doesn’t care. If I plant poison sumac seeds, the dirt will grow poison sumac. The dirt is like that…it really doesn’t care what seeds I plant.

The land will return whatever is planted, watered and nurtured. If I sow zucchini, I reap zucchini. If I sow sumac, I reap sumac. (This is starting to sound almost Biblical!)

My mind is somewhat like the dirt, and please don’t carry this analogy too far. My mind is somewhat like the dirt, in that it too tends to produce whatever is planted and nurtured. In fact, my mind (and yours) is more incredibly fertile than any available topsoil.

But like the apathetic dirt, our minds don’t care what gets planted. If we plant sadness, fear and anger; then sadness, fear and anger will grow. If we plant joy and forgiveness, joy and forgiveness will grow.

I’m starting to learn how to control my emotions. When the darker, more poisonous moods start to surface…I realize my need to immediately plant some better seeds. I’m trying to remember that “the dirt doesn’t care.”

 
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Posted in New Life

 

…quiet people…

08 Jun

I was approached by a middle-aged business man following a meeting the other day. After introducing himself he rather shyly, almost apologetically said, “I’m uncomfortable talking with quiet people.”

Needless to say, I was taken aback. I suppose that in my younger days, I may have been more loud and boisterous than I am today…but when did I become “quiet?”

Maybe I ceased being loud when I first realized how frequently I was also wrong. Maybe I ceased speaking out when I began to see how deeply a misspoken word can cut into an unprotected and often unsuspecting listener.

You probably know these guidelines for speaking, that I have so slowly come to realize:
1. Only speak if what you’re about to say is 100% true.
2. Only speak if what you’re about to say is kind.
3. Only speak if what you’re about to say must be said by you.

A noted television psychologist, known for making cruel assessments, usually hides behind her calloused philosophy that “the truth hurts.” I find her philosophy insensitive and abhorrent. There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.

I agree with whoever said that we should keep our words “sweet and tender, since we never know when we’ll have to eat them.” Having eaten my own words more often than I care to remember, I have to agree!

 
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Posted in New Life

 

…when masks become molds…

10 Feb

I’ll always remember taking my son home from the hospital a few days after he was born. I tried to look like a professional father as I strapped our newborn into his seat, covered him with a blanket, and carefully assisted my wife into the car.

I might have looked like a professional father…but I was scared to death! So I decided to fake it until I could make it…I donned a daddy mask.

I suppose that in some ways we all wear masks. Just as new mothers wear mommy masks to hide their insecurities…so do married couples sometimes wear masks to hide emotions that have lost their intensity.

Surgeons hide behind their scrubs…judges behind their robes…and police officers behind their badges. Nearly everyone sports some sort of mask to hide their fears or their shortcomings.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could allow our masks to become molds? If we considered that our masks were actually molds, then we could begin to grow into them. And over time, we’d possibly become the parent, spouse, or professional we were already pretending to be.

Just for today, I’ll strap on my mask of kindness. I’ll do my best to be accepting and empathetic to those I encounter. I’ll hold doors for people I don’t know. I’ll say nice things to the grocery store cashier. I’ll wait patiently for the elderly couple who cross the street so slowly.

Yes, just for today, I’ll wear my mask of kindness. And I might even wear that same mask tomorrow and the next day. And hopefully, as I grow and mature over time…I might actually become the person my mask portrays me to be.

 
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Posted in New Life